If you’re serious about finding love
, you have to be strategic. Yes, fate can play a part in bringing a special someone to you. But will fate find you if you’re hiding on your couch watching Real Housewives marathons?
In order to give fate a hand, identify what you want and ask for referrals. Here’s how:
Identify the most important qualities you’re looking for in a partner.
When dating, it’s really important to know exactly what characteristics your long term partner must have. These are your non-negotiables
Non-negotiables are not about hair color or height. Non-negotiables are about the big things. Values, beliefs, whether or not the person wants children or marriage, how he or she deals with money. All of these things have the potential to make or break relationships. So, it’s very important that you understand exactly where you stand when it comes to your non-negotiables and what you will and won’t accept from a partner.
Break it down to three non-negotiables.
When asking for a referral, you can’t give some an 87 point checklist. It’s unrealistic to think you can find someone who will meet a million qualifications and it’s just too picky
. Plus you’ll look a little crazy to the person you’re asking. So, break it down to three ultra important things.
For example, your ideal partner may need to be open to having children, love pets and be very spiritual. Or your ideal partner might have to have to play sports and be very physically active, enjoy traveling and always make you feel important.
Remember, your top three non-negotiables can be anything. They are yours
Ask for a referral.
Asking for a referral may sound very business-like, but if you really want something, you’ve got to work for it. So, start by asking friends and family for a referral. Make it known that you are looking for love. You might ask by saying something like this, “I’m interested in meeting someone who’s creative, a great communicator and has a positive attitude about life. Who do you know who fits that description?”
Then ask everyone you know. And think outside your immediate family and social circle. Ask that woman you clicked with at the gym. Ask the people you volunteer with. Ask the people you chat with in the break room at work.
People love to help. So just keep asking. You never know who someone else may know.