When going through a breakup, it can be tempting to numb yourself. But indulging in a wild girls’ night and making out with a stranger isn’t going to restore your obliterated heart. Neither will sucking down pinot grigio while watching romcom’s every night.
You have to actually go through
the breakup. That means feeling every single one of the angry, hurt and confused feelings. It’s awful, but doing these five things will help:
Let it out.
Cry, scream, download every detail to your girlfriends or write it out in your journal. Smash things. Kick box. Kick ass. Just get that energy out.
Don’t hold it in. Crying is actually good for you. It releases toxins from your system. So, as you cry, think of your ex as a toxin you’re getting rid of.
Don’t take it personally.
When someone breaks up with you, it’s easy to blame yourself
. Thinking things like, “If I had only done this” or “I never should have done that,” is not
productive. It replays the death of the relationship over and over. Which only hurts you more.
The bottom line is that it doesn’t matter what you did or didn’t do. The other person wasn’t happy and more than likely, that had way more to do with the breakup than anything you might have done.
Facebook stalking is not going to bring your ex back. It’s only going to make you crazy. Plus, you have to let go of your ex to make room for the more awesome person who is coming your way. If you’re still energetically connected to your ex, how will you make space for your future?
Unfollow him, his sister, his mother, his friends or anyone else who may post about him. You do not need to see pictures of him having a blast while you feel like crap.
Turn your breakup into an up break.
Think of the breakup as shaking up
life as it is and giving you the opportunity to reposition yourself. And if repositioning yourself is not coming easily, get some help. Talk to a therapist, consult a psychic, do reiki, join a support group, meditate, go to yoga, do whatever works for you so that you can heal yourself.
Understand the relationship ended because you learned everything it was supposed to teach you. Every relationship we have is meant to prepare us for the next one. So, when relationships end, it’s because there was no more room for you to grow. Understanding that you’re always on the right path, and that good things are coming your way, can make it easier to let things go.