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How Friendships Can Impact Your Lovelife

In order to date healthy, happy people, you have to love yourself first. After all, if you don’t love yourself, why would someone else love you?

An important of loving yourself is surrounding yourself with positive people. That means distancing yourself from people who might bring you down. That can be hard, especially if you’re dealing with a family member or friend you feel loyal to.

Past history can be make you feel really guilty about parting ways with someone. But if that person is negative all the time or puts you down or tries to control you, it will be very difficult to love yourself or attract the love you deserve while that person is in your life.

If you’re not sure whether or not a friend is truly toxic, here are some signs to look for:

 He/she is negative and complains often.

 He/she focuses on why something can’t be done, not how it can be done.

 He/she puts you down.

 He/she makes jokes at your expense.

 He/she wants to know where you are all the time.

 He/she is controlling.

 No matter what you do, it’s never good enough for them.

 He/she calls you names.

If anyone in your life fits those descriptors, you might want to move on. You cannot love yourself, be happy and receive joy with that kind of toxicity around you.

You may feel guilty and obligated to that person. Don’t. The most important person in the world is you. If someone is bringing you down, walk away. You deserve better.

Conversely, here are some signs to look for in good, positive people:

 He/she focuses on the positive.

 He/she discusses uplifting ideas with you.

 He/she encourages you to follow your dreams.

 He/she makes you feel good.

 He/she inspires you to look at things from a different perspective.

 He/she laughs with you (not at you).

 He/she cheers you on.

 He/she celebrates your accomplishments.

 He/she expresses gratitude toward you.

If you’re not sure how to meet good people, volunteer or join a group that focuses on a hobby you enjoy. Whether it’s gardening, fishing, running or reading, just find like-minded people. As you make positive friends, you will feel great. And you might just meet someone special.

What else works for you? How do you meet good people you can trust?


  1. GraceKelly

    December 28, 2013

    About a year ago, I broke up with a childhood friend. It was really hard because we’d been friends since 5th grade. But she was always putting so much pressure on me to do what she wanted to do, when she wanted to. She always wanted more and more of my time. It was so tiring. And she always made me feel bad about myself.

    Since we stopped talking, I feel so much better about myself. And since I started Fantasy Dating, I’ve been on a lot of dates. I’m a lot happier now.

    • fdadmin

      December 28, 2013

      Wow. Good for you for having the guts to end a toxic friendship. It takes a lot of courage to create boundaries – even when it’s the best thing for us. We’re very glad to hear you’re much happier now. Bravo!

  2. BadassBetty

    January 3, 2014

    I used to have some friends who were controlling and negative. I am so much happier now that they are out of my life. Part of being badass is cutting out people who don’t want the best for you. True friends want you to be happy and healthy.

    • fdadmin

      January 3, 2014

      Badass Betty, we couldn’t have said that any better. You definitely live up to your name. ;)

  3. Singles Warehouse

    January 15, 2014

    Friends play a huge part on love/relationships

    I once went out with someone who was introducing their new ‘date’ to the group. He left the table and everyone turned to her and said “No!”

    Might have been brutal but it was certainly needed!

    • fdadmin

      January 15, 2014

      Hey Singles Warehouse! Sounds like she needed to hear that. Thank goodness for good friends!

  4. WasteOfGoodLipGloss

    September 27, 2014

    soooooo true. I “clean house” often. Friend break ups are hard (all break ups are) but need to happen sometimes. I give people a chance and even tell them what’s not working for me but sometimes you just have to cut the cord. I wouldn’t want a boyfriend like that, why would I want a friend like that?

    Think about it, if you introduce this Person to your new guy and friend puts you down, what’s he going to think of you? He’s ping to wonder what’s wrong with you that you let the, treat you like this or even worse, that he can, not coll. your friends should build you up.

    There are a few people I know who are kind and good, would give you the world, but very “glass 1/2 empty” and those people get limited info on my world and I’m tend to cut the conversation short when we head down that path.

    • fdadmin

      September 29, 2014

      Thanks for your comment WasteofGoodLipGloss! I love that you surround yourself with positive people. It’s all about lifting each other up! :)

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