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How to Attract the Relationship You Want

You may have heard of the Law of Attraction before and wondered how it can apply to getting the relationship you want. In short, this law means what you put out there is what you get back.

For example, when an athlete is getting ready for a big game, what are they thinking about? They are envisioning winning the game. They can see the ball in the net long before the ball even touches their hands. They have already won the game in their minds and are projecting confidence and success. Dating and relationships are no different.

Before we dive in, take a personal inventory by honestly answering these questions:

1. How do I feel about myself? Would I want to date me?

2. Am I excited about dating and approaching it with an open mind? Or am I afraid history will repeat itself based on past experiences?

3. What type of relationship do I want? Just friends? Something casual? Looking for “the one”?

4. Do I feel attractive and think others see me that way?

5. What does my face expression and body language say to others?

Like attracts like. So, if you’ve gone through the above list with less than positive thinking, you engage in negative self-talk or find patterns in your past relationships, now is the time to burn a new soundtrack or change the station. That’s what you do when you’re tired of hearing the same song playing over and over, right?

Start with some basics by reminding yourself every day about what you like about you and your life. Before you go to sleep each night, make a mental list of all the things you are grateful for. It can be as simple as “I love my bed” or as deep as “I’m blessed to have so much goodness in my life.” The list can be as long or as short as you want it. Then think about and envision who and what you want in your future. For example, “I’m excited to meet the man/woman of my dreams. I can imagine us holding hands, smiling at each other and feeling happy knowing we are each other’s true partner in life.”

Many people also find it helpful to come up with a daily mantra that you can do anytime, anywhere – when you wake up, take a break at work, are driving or are trying to fall asleep. Here’s a simple one that you can modify to match your desires:

“I live with a happy heart, peaceful mind and playful spirit. I deserve good health, love and happiness.”

Just remember that what you put out there is what you get back. This is powerful stuff, so be careful what (or who) you wish for. Happy daydreaming!

Susan Torbitt loves quotations, laughing, adventures and living life to the fullest. From corporate to conversational and fiction to non-fiction, she is passionate about writing and communications. You’re invited to find out what kind of dates she has attracted and learned from in her book at:


  1. Regina

    October 29, 2013

    I TOTALLY believed in the law of attraction! The more grateful I am, it seems like great things keep happening in my life. It’s like I just keep having more and more to be grateful for. Once I started playing this game, I kept meeting more and more great people. Things just keep getting better and better!

    • fdadmin

      October 29, 2013

      WOW! You’re totally rocking the Law of Attraction and your Fantasy Dating game. Watch out people! This girl is playing to win! ;)

    • Susan Torbitt

      November 4, 2013

      Thanks for your comment Regina! I agree and am much more aware now of how our thoughts can transform our lives. Since learning about deliberate intent I naturally correct and sad or self-defeating thoughts. It feels so much better to focus on the good :-)

  2. Singles Warehouse

    January 15, 2014

    Great tips! Change simple things and you’ll attract what you want!

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