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How to Get Over First Date Jitters

So, you’ve earned your points for exchanging numbers and receiving texts and calls. Now it’s time for the first date.

It doesn’t matter if you’re the most confident person on the planet, every first date generates its share of jitters. They may range from butterflies to silverware clattering trembling, but to some degree, we all experience a bit of nerves. Here are some things to remember:

It’s just a date. A date is an opportunity to get to know someone and enjoy or a drink or a meal. It’s not an audition for the role of a life time. It’s not an interview for a life-changing job. If it’s a flop, life will go on. And if it’s great, you might see him again. So don’t make a mountain out of a date.

Your date is nervous too. The fact that your date doesn’t want to waste his time or money on a sucky evening either should help keep your anxiety in check. You’re in this together. Remember, he made a choice to meet with you so there’s something in it for both of you.

Don’t interrogate your date. Whatever you do, don’t ask big, intimidating questions. Things like, “How much debt do you have?” and “How many children do you want?” are NOT casual conversation. And if you pound your date with questions like, “Is there an age you’d like to be married by?” and “How much money did you make last year?” You will kill the date and you will never see him again. We promise.

Look at the small picture. Do not spend the evening sizing up your date and wondering things like, “What if our kids got his teeth?” “Will my father like him?” “Could I be with him forever?” How the heck can you figure out if you can be with someone forever in as much time as it takes to eat a plate of pasta? For once, do NOT think big picture. Just focus on how it feels. Are you comfortable talking with this person? How does he make you feel? Does he make you laugh? Just focus on tonight.

The less pressure you apply on your date and yourself, the more enjoyable the experience will be. Don’t walk into a first date thinking, “Will tonight be the night I meet the man of my dreams?” Just walk into the date thinking, “I hope we have fun,” and you will.

What other first date tips would you like to share?

xoxo,

FD

Comments

  1. FlirtyKate

    January 18, 2013

    These are really good tips. I tend to get all caught up wondering, “Is he the one?” I’ll have to focus on keeping cool!

  2. Ellen

    January 29, 2013

    This may sound dumb, but I never really thought about the fact that my date is nervous too. I guess guys get just as nervous as we do. Huh…

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