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How to Stop Choosing the Wrong Men

Do you keep choosing the wrong men? When dating, it can be difficult to figure out who will be good for us and who won’t. We all want to be in healthy, fun relationships. But if you feel like you keep dating disaster after disaster, here are some tips to help choose a man more wisely.

1. Stop dating your type. If you’ve been dating the same type of guy over and over, guess what? It’s not working. For example, if you end up feeling lonely in every relationship, but continue to date the same type of unavailable men, nothing is going to change. Make it a point to break away from your type. Sure, it will feel weird at first, but focus on the different feelings you have when dating different types of people. That will help you get a better idea of what does and doesn’t work for you.

2. Listen to that little voice. When that little voice whispers that something isn’t quite right, listen. Your instincts are usually right on. Don’t ignore them. You’ll end up wasting your time and putting yourself in uncomfortable or potentially dangerous situations.

3. Get over bad boys. Dating bad boys is just…bad. Yes, all that brooding can be sexy. But trying to change a bad boy is a near impossible, frustrating feat. Even thinking you might be the one to shift his darkness to light is setting yourself up for constant disappointment. Not to mention that the whole situation just gets old. Next time you find yourself falling for a bad boy, ask yourself, “Why do I think a bad boy is the best I deserve?”

4. Take a look around. When you go to your date’s place, you can learn a lot. A person’s living space can be a giant metaphor for their life and the way they live it. If his apartment is a disaster, chances are, so is his life. If you discover closets packed to the door jam, it’s possible that he has trouble letting go of things, including his past. Soak it all in and keep his surroundings in mind as your relationship grows.

5. Know your non-negotiables. When dating, it’s really important to know exactly what characteristics your long term partner must have. This is not about hair color or height. It’s about the big things. His values, beliefs, whether or not he wants children or marriage, how he deals with money. All of these things have the potential to make or break relationships. So, it’s very important that you understand exactly where you stand when it comes to your non-negotiables and what you will and won’t accept from a partner.

If you meet someone and they don’t meet your non-negotiables, you need to choose wisely and move on.

How do you choose the people you date? What works for you?


  1. OliveJuice

    April 18, 2014

    I dated bad boys forever! I think it’s like some kind of rite of passage for your 20′s! LOL! But not anymore. The guys I’ve been dating are pretty good overall. A few idiots, but not too shabby! ;)

    • fdadmin

      April 18, 2014

      It’s awesome that you were able to break your bad boy addiction! Hat’s off to you OliveJuice! :)

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