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Three Red Flags to Stop Dating Someone

The saying “love is blind” is a saying for a reason. Sometimes we meet someone who is so awesome that we overlook red flags. Spotting red flags early on can help prevent heartbreak later. So, let’s take a look at three red flags you should never ignore.

Your intuition.

Intuition speaks to us in different ways. Sometimes it’s a whisper. Other times it’s that indescribable pang when someone hurts you. Maybe it’s the glazed over look in someone’s eyes while you speak about something you’re passionate about. Or maybe it’s the whisper in reaction to something that person said. Something that doesn’t hit you quite right.

It’s not so much what he or she does, it’s how your intuition responds to it. Like you know something is not right. Don’t ignore your intuition. It will only get louder.

A disastrous home.

At first, this may sound judgmental, but someone’s home is a mirror of his or her life. So, if you date someone whose bedroom floor is covered in clothing or who has a bathroom so dirty that you’re inspired to hover while you pee, that person’s life is also probably a mess. After all, they’re comfortable living in chaos, right?

FantasyDater, SandyK, went out with a guy whose apartment was full of boxes. “They were stacked almost to the ceiling and there was a path to from the door to the kitchen, to the bedroom and the bathroom. It was cray cray,” says SandyK. “On our date, he had mentioned that he was a ‘collector,’ but he was a hoarder. I’m so glad I got to see that early on,” said SandyK.

That doesn’t mean everyone you date should live in a sparkling clean penthouse apartment. It just means that a person’s surroundings can tell you a lot about who they are. Next time you go to someone’s home for the first time, listen to your intuition. How do you feel there? Your comfort level in their home can tell you a lot about whether or not to continue dating that person.

Too many “We should’s.”

When a person starts making big plans on the first few dates, that’s a great indicator to slam on the brakes. Saying things like stuff like, “We should take a vacation to a tropical island,” “We should go to that sushi restaurant up north,” or “We should go to the mountains for Christmas,” are dating red flags.

The thing is, they’re not necessarily lying, because in the moment, they do envision the future with you and they are making plans. Because in the moment, they really do feel that way. (Unless you’re dealing with a total jackass player – but that’s the exception here.)

They believe that they’re going to do those things with you. Until they simply don’t believe it anymore.

Since some people are on a serious love mission, they can be raring to go from the minute you meet them. And once they discover you’re not exactly what they want, that’s it. And you’ll be left, stunned, wondering why they made all those plans if they’re weren’t into you.

Avoid that mess by spotting “we should’s” and the people who rush into things.

When it comes to dating, there are lots of red flags to be noticed. What are some red flags you watch out for?


  1. June 28, 2014

    I can’t believe you wrote about the messy apartment! I have been using the way someone keeps his house as a red flag for years! A long time ago, I went out with a guy who was awesome. So nice, smart, funny and cool. We went on six dates before I went to his place. When I got there, I discovered he was a total hoarder. Like boxes and bags and crap to the ceiling! And it smelled funny in there. I was so grossed out. From then on, I made sure I see a guy’s place on the second date. Even if I just peek into make sure it’s normal. I was freaked out to know I’d been making out with a guy who had serious problems. You never would have known by looking at him.

    • fdadmin

      June 28, 2014

      Hey Brigette! So glad to hear you already use the state of someone’s home as a dating a gauge. Good for you for using your tools! :)

  2. BuffaloBob

    June 28, 2014

    Listening to your intuition is huge. I’ve dated two girls who made my intuition sound off. But I ignored it because they were really nice and sweet. I didn’t want to judge them ad wanted to give them a chance. I should have listened. Both times.

    • fdadmin

      June 28, 2014

      Hey BuffaloBob! Thanks for commenting. It’s easy to overlook things when we really like someone. But it sounds like you’re learning along your dating journey. Keep on keepin’ on! ;)

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