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What Not to Do on a First Date

First dates don’t have to be hard. It’s just two people meeting up to see if they can make a connection. But in case you’d like a little guidance and are wondering what to do and what not to do, here are seven definite no no’s.

1. Don’t talk too much.

When you spend an entire date chattering away, it can be a turn off. You may not even realize you’re doing it – especially if you’re nervous. Don’t fear silence. Remember, you have to give your date an opportunity to speak.

2. Don’t talk about yourself too much.

Sure, it’s important to share things about yourself with your date. But if the entire conversation resolves around you, your date will feel like you have no interest in them. And that probably won’t get you a second date.

3. Don’t interrogate your date.

It’s important to show curiosity about the person you’re with. A great way to do that is to ask casual questions. Ask your date about his or her interests, where they grew up, what they think of the neighborhood or the venue in which your date is taking place. Do not ask questions that are not your business, such as, how much money they make, what kind of credit score they have or why their last relationship ended. Interrogation is scary, not sexy.

4. Don’t over share.

Although the goal of a first date is to give two people an opportunity to get to know each other, there is such a thing as too much. Don’t discuss your family issues, childhood traumas or adult phobias. Save those things for later, when you’ve had time to connect on a deeper level. Unloading all of that on a stranger can be very overwhelming and unattractive.

5. Don’t talk about your ex.

This should be a no-brainer, yet people do it all the time. The last thing a person wants is for their date to babble on about someone else. If you spend a first date talking about your ex, you are not ready to date. Try again when you are.

6. Don’t play with your phone.

Checking your phone while on a date shows a blatant lack of consideration for the person you’re with. It’s rude. If you have any desire to see that person again, put your phone away.

7. Don’t be rude to the people around you.

Whether at a restaurant or a bowling alley, be kind to the people who work there. Smile, say, “Please” and “thank you.” Remember, you are making a first impression. Make it a good one.

What do you think? What else should you not do on a first date?


  1. January 5, 2014

    #7 is HUGE. I went on a date with someone who wouldn’t acknowledge our server. He never said hello or please or thank you. Just stuff like “Cheeseburger and a beer.” It was totally rude. I’m a server and when people do that at my restaurant it infuriates me! Total dealbreaker.

    • fdadmin

      January 5, 2014

      Hey Erica! Thanks for your comment. It’s amazing how much we learn about people by watching how they treat others. I understand why that behavior would be a dealbreaker for you.

    • Divorced Kat

      January 8, 2014

      Same! My date yelled at the bartender. I was so embarrassed! I told my date he was rude.

      • fdadmin

        January 8, 2014

        Hey Divorced Kat! Great to hear from you! Guess your date saved you a lot of time by showing you who he was right away. But what a bummer. Glad you told him he was rude!

  2. JohnUSAdude

    January 5, 2014

    I went on a date with a girl who spent the whole dinner texting someone. I walked out. So rude. Then she had the audacity to call me and ask why I left. Seriously?

    • fdadmin

      January 5, 2014

      Hey JohnUSAdude! Thank you for commenting. Sounds like an awful date. Crazy that she didn’t even understand what messages she was sending. Your story is a great reminder to be more aware of how our actions impact others. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Singles Warehouse

    January 15, 2014

    Listening on a date is something you really should do. So if you take the advice above, and don’t talk too much you’ll be fine.

    Great post

  4. fdadmin

    January 15, 2014

    Thanks for commenting, Singles Warehouse! You are absolutely right. Listening shows someone you’re interested and you’ll hear valuable information that will help you decide if you want to see that person again.

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