Getting dumped sucks. It doesn’t matter if it’s been two weeks or two years, it still sucks. But how you handle it can impact the amount suckage you’ll have to deal with. If you find yourself on the awful of the “We need to talk,” conversation, here’s what to do when you get dumped:
Don’t Take It Personally
That may sound hard, but a key to dealing with getting dumped is to not take it personally. That means, you didn’t get dumped because you shouldn’t have made that comment about his or her mother. You didn’t get dumped because you burned the dinner you made the person you’re dating. You got dumped because the other person wanted something else.
For that other person, something didn’t feel right. So, they chose to end it. Whatever that thing may be, it’s not something you can change or control. Nothing others do is because of you. They do or don’t do things because of themselves. Therefore, it’s important not to take it personally.
Leave It Alone
When someone tells you they don’t want to be with you, believe them. Leave it alone. Calling, texting or attempting to “run into” the person you were dating is not going to make you more attractive to them. If anything, it will make you look clingy and insecure
. And that’s not
If you find it hard to let go, ask yourself, “Why would I want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me?” You deserve more than that, don’t you?
Learn Your Lessons
Every relationship we have is meant to teach us something. The lesson may be a gigantic kick in the head or a small “ah ha” moment. Whatever the lesson is, it’s important to acknowledge it and do things differently the next time. Otherwise, that lesson will keep popping up again and again until you finally make a change. So, don’t torture yourself by repeating the same patterns
over and over. Learn your lessons the first time.
Depending on the length and depth of the relationship, every recovery period will be different. But it’s important to give yourself some time, however much time that feels right for you, and then move on. Check out 5 Things to Help You Through a Breakup
for tips on how to cope with grief so that you can move on.
If you feel like you’re not making progress, reach out for some help. Whether you choose a life coach, dating coach, a therapist or another type of healer is up to you, as long as you get the help you need to heal.
Because once you heal, you’re going to want to get back to dating and finding the love you deserve.