and left him a message, inviting him to a party that weekend.
On the night of the party, she still hadn’t heard from him. So, she texted him the party address and said she’d be there at 8:00. Around 9:00, after a cocktail or two, she texted him again, “We’re still here if you want to come by!”
The next day, she texted him again, “Missed you last night. I’d love to see you again soon.”
Let’s analyze that.
Brittney was doing fine until she didn’t hear back from Chris. Texting him the party address was not only unproductive, it made her appear desperate. Imagine what Chris thought when Brittney contacted him that third time. He probably felt like she was pathetic.
Think about how you would feel if someone you weren’t that into kept texting you? Would it pique your interest in them? No, it would most likely be a turn off.
The bottom line is if a guy doesn’t respond to you, do not contact him again. That is his way of saying he doesn’t want to see you again. Granted it’s not the kindest route to take, but that’s what it means.
It doesn’t matter how great your connection was or how much fun you
had on the date. If he doesn’t respond to you, he’s not into you.
Here are some basic phone tips:
1. Give him a chance to contact you.
After you send your “thank you” text, you have a great opportunity to gauge his interest. If he doesn’t respond, you’ll know he’s not that into you
. And that’s fine. Just move on. After all, don’t you deserve to be with someone who’s nuts about you?
Not enough to convince you? Here’s the bottom line. If you call him, you:
2. Alternate calls.
- May appear to be over eager. Guys enjoy the chase. Give him the chance to chase.
- Don’t know if he’s into you or not.
- Don’t get to collect your three points.
This should be very simple. Just because he calls you once, it doesn’t mean you can put him on speed dial and ring him up every time you think of him. If your last conversation was a call you returned, let him be the next one to call. Again, give him a chance to do some chasing.
When it comes to making calls, less is more. Alternate calls. As long as you stick to that rule, you’ll be golden.
3. No message = No response.
Seriously. Here’s why:
4. Know When to Quit.
- It could be a misdial. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. How silly will you feel if you call him back and he says, “I didn’t call you”?
- If he doesn’t think you’re worth leaving a voicemail, he doesn’t deserve a call back.
- You don’t ever want to have to ask, “Did you call me?” It’s embarrassing.
- Let a guy show you where you stand right off the bat. If he really likes you, he’ll leave you a voicemail.
It’s simple, if he doesn’t call you, you can’t call him. It doesn’t matter if you’ve gone on a couple great dates and he already invited you to his mother’s birthday party. If he stops calling, you stop calling.
It doesn’t matter if you think you had the greatest connection when you met and that all you need to do is get on the phone and then he’ll hear your voice and realize you’re the woman of his dreams.
It doesn’t matter if he’s the smartest, most gorgeous, funniest, most interesting guy on the planet, if he’s not calling you, you can’t call him. You’ll appear to be desperate. And desperation is not pretty.
What are some of your phone standards? What works for you?
Fantasy Dater, Brittney, went on a date with Chris. They had a great time. After the date, she texted him a thank you. He wrote back that he had also had a good time.
A few days later,