When you first start dating, it’s a magical rush. And constantly thinking about the person you’re dating, texting just to say, “Hi,” and wanting to be with them all the time can be cute. At first. But when the love drugs stop pumping through your body and things start to normalize, if you’re still constantly texting
, calling and dying to be with that person, it stops being cute and starts getting clingy – fast.
And there’s nothing cute about being clingy.
In fact, the opposite is what’s attractive.Confident people who have a lot going on in their lives are attractive. Confidence is sexy. Confidence tells the person you’re dating that you don’t need them, you choose them. And what’s hotter than being chosen?
If you suspect you might be teetering on the clingy side, ask yourself the following questions. Your answers will tell you if you need to chill out.
Do you feel the urge to be in constant contact?
If you can’t go five minutes without texting or calling
the person you’re dating, someone needs to confiscate your phone. Here’s the thing – nobody wants to be hounded by anyone. It doesn’t matter how great your conversations are or how mindblowing the sex was. Too much needy contact is not cute.
It’s important to give someone you’re dating the time to wonder what you’re up to. Allow some space for curiosity. Let that person imagine what you might be doing at that moment. The more they wonder, the more likely they will be to reach out to you. And that will make you feel amazing.
Do you speed down the freeway of love?
Relationship milestones can come at varying speeds, but if you’ve only been on two dates and you’re already coming up with baby names, it’s time to hit the brakes. Chill out and look at the situation for what it is – two people who have gone on a couple dates. By rushing into the future
, you will scare the crap out of the person you’re dating and get yourself all excited about some unrealistic fantasies.
Does the person you’re dating ask for space?
If the person you’re dating gives you any hint that he or she would like some space, give it to them. If they tell you that, they mean it. Suffocating someone is quick way to get dumped, so if they ask you to back off, back off.
Do you wait around for the person you’re dating?
If you hold off on making plans with your friends because you’re waiting for that special someone to call, you need to knock it off. You’ll not only give off a desperate vibe, you’ll annoy your friends.
Just like being clingy is not cute, neither are flaky people. Blowing off friends for the person you’re dating is a crappy thing to do. And waiting around for them will make you look desperate. And desperation is not cute.
Living a full life is what’s really attractive. Think about it. If you call the person you’re dating and say, “What did you do today?” Which response is more attractive?
“Nothing. I just hung out.” Or, “I went to breakfast with my friends and then we went for a hike. After that, we had a cookout at Joe’s. What did you do?”
Who seems more interesting to you? The person who sat around all day waiting for you or the person who spend the day being active with friends?
Living a full life and focusing on yourself
and the things you love to do will attract great people. The fuller your life is the less clingy or needy you’ll be. So, it’s all up to you. Do you want to be clingy or cute?