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Why You Should Stop Taking Dating So Seriously

How many times have you heard your friends, or yourself, say, “I hate dating,” or “Dating is so hard”? This attitude of dread has left us wondering, when did dating stop being fun?

What happened to the excitement of meeting new people? When did attending events and trying new restaurants become laborious? When did the anticipation of an amazing first kiss translate to a sucky time?

One of the reasons we created Fantasy Dating is to take the dread out of dating and replace it with fun. But in order to do that, you have to stop taking it all so seriously. By that, we mean look at meeting someone for an introductory coffee as an hour of adventure. Look at a date as an opportunity to try that new food truck everybody raves about and chat with someone new.

A good way to stop taking dating so seriously is to remember, it’s just a date, not a proposal. If you look at every date as a make or break moment, you’ll end up with a panic attack – not a boyfriend.

In order to meet all kinds of people and discover what does and doesn’t work for you, you have to date a lot. Dating is a fun and exciting process that should help you narrow your search to find someone with whom you’re compatible.

To reduce your stress and increase the fun, remember these tips:

1. It’s just a date. Going on a date with someone is not a life commitment. It’s just a couple hours of your time. Plan something that interests you and enjoy yourself.

2. Don’t worry about whether or not he likes you, decide if you like him. Too often, we spend dates consumed by thoughts like, “Does he like me?” and “Do I look okay?” Doubt driven thoughts like that just perpetuate the dread of the situation. Instead, remember, you are the chooser. Relax and focus on what you like about him and whether or not you’d like to see him again.

3. You don’t have to go out with him again. If during your date, you decide you don’t want to see him again, remember, you don’t have to. That relieves pressure and allows you to move on to date someone you really connect with.

4. Practice increases the fun. The more you date, the comfortable you will be. Flirting and approaching someone you’re interested in will help you stretch your comfort zone. And going on a few dates will prove that there is life after a date, whether or not you made a match. Pretty soon, you’ll be working your game and enjoying every minute of it.

Remember, we’re cheering you on! Let us know how it goes.

xoxo,

FD

Comments

  1. September 23, 2013

    I have so many friends who whine about how awful dating is. They’re crazy. Dating is fun! I get to go out all the time, meet new people, learn new things and see new places. It’s way better than sitting at home all the time like my friends who think dating is so hard. I’m having WAY more fun than they are!

    • fdadmin

      October 2, 2013

      WOOT! So glad to hear you’re enjoying yourself and working your game!

    • Singles Warehouse

      January 15, 2014

      Lovely comment. Dating is fun – but you’ve got to be in the game to win the game.

      So if people say it’s crap they probably are not giving 100%! And that does matter.

  2. Joe B.

    September 24, 2013

    It’s hard not to take it seriously. Rejection is involved. Anything I do that involves the possibility of rejection, I take seriously.

    • fdadmin

      October 2, 2013

      Hey Joe B! You’re right. Rejection can feel really serious. It hurts when someone doesn’t respond with the same enthusiasm you put forward. It helps me to look at it as the universe making room for the right person to come along. Does that make sense? Like if she doesn’t think you’re awesome, would you want to be with her anyway?

      You deserve someone who thinks you’re the bomb. ;)

  3. Allison D.

    September 28, 2013

    It takes a TON of practice and a really long time to not take dating so seriously. You really have to look at like a mission – maybe even your job. You have to try not to take it personally. Then when someone blows you off or doesn’t like you, it doesn’t hurt so much. Because when you first start, it REALLY hurts. So you kinda have to think like, “Okay. Next?” You know, where’s the next guy? Because he might be the right one.

    • fdadmin

      October 2, 2013

      Yes! Allison D! You’re on the right track! Keeping thinking like that. He’s on his way! :)

  4. Catherine

    February 4, 2014

    I completely agree with the post that you’ve just got to give it a go and get out there. It’s just a date yet so many girls are so quick to judge before the date even gets started, or they won’t even go on a date unless they think he’s ‘the one’! You’ll never know if you enjoy it unless you put yourself out there. Practice certainly makes perfect so just have fun!!

    • fdadmin

      February 4, 2014

      Hi Catherine! Thank you for your comment. So glad you agree. You’re absolutely right, some people reject the date before it ever happens. Like you wrote, daters should have fun practicing! ;)

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