Fantasy Dater, Brittney, went on a date with Chris

Fantasy Dater, Brittney, went on a date with Chris. They had a great time. After the date, she texted him a thank you. He wrote back that he had also had a good time.A few days later, she called and left him a message, inviting him to a party that weekend.On the night of the party, she still hadn’t heard from him. So, she texted him the party address and said she’d be there at 8:00. Around 9:00, after a cocktail or two, she texted him again, “We’re still here if you want to come by!”The next day, she texted him again, “Missed you last night. I’d love to see you again soon.”Let’s analyze that. Brittney was doing fine until she didn’t hear back from Chris. Texting him the party address was not only unproductive, it made her appear desperate. Imagine what Chris thought when Brittney contacted him that third time. He probably felt like she was pathetic.Think about how you would feel if someone you weren’t that into kept texting you? Would it pique your interest in them? No, it would most likely be a turn off.The bottom line is if a guy doesn’t respond to you, do not contact him again. That is his way of saying he doesn’t want to see you again. Granted it’s not the kindest route to take, but that’s what it means.It doesn’t matter how great your connection was or how much fun you had on the date. If he doesn’t respond to you, he’s not into you. Here are some basic phone tips:1. Give him a chance to contact you. After you send your “thank you” text, you have a great opportunity to gauge his interest. If he doesn’t respond, you’ll know he’s not that into you. And that’s fine. Just move on. After all, don’t you deserve to be with someone who’s nuts about you?Not enough to convince you? Here’s the bottom line. If you call him, you:May appear to be over eager. Guys enjoy the chase. Give him the chance to chase.

Don’t know if he’s into you or not.

Don’t get to collect your three points.

2. Alternate calls. This should be very simple. Just because he calls you once, it doesn’t mean you can put him on speed dial and ring him up every time you think of him. If your last conversation was a call you returned, let him be the next one to call. Again, give him a chance to do some chasing.When it comes to making calls, less is more. Alternate calls. As long as you stick to that rule, you’ll be golden.3. No message = No response. Seriously. Here’s why:It could be a misdial. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. How silly will you feel if you call him back and he says, “I didn’t call you”?

If he doesn’t think you’re worth leaving a voicemail, he doesn’t deserve a call back.

You don’t ever want to have to ask, “Did you call me?” It’s embarrassing.

Let a guy show you where you stand right off the bat. If he really likes you, he’ll leave you a voicemail.

4. Know When to Quit. It’s simple, if he doesn’t call you, you can’t call him. It doesn’t matter if you’ve gone on a couple great dates and he already invited you to his mother’s birthday party. If he stops calling, you stop calling.It doesn’t matter if you think you had the greatest connection when you met and that all you need to do is get on the phone and then he’ll hear your voice and realize you’re the woman of his dreams.It doesn’t matter if he’s the smartest, most gorgeous, funniest, most interesting guy on the planet, if he’s not calling you, you can’t call him. You’ll appear to be desperate. And desperation is not pretty.What are some of your phone standards? What works for you?

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May 5, 2014

YOWZA! What a train wreck. Homegirl needs to learn how to play it cool! Less is more baby. Less is more.

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May 5, 2014

Hey EmilyDazie! This player was brave enough to share her story so we could all learn from it. She now knows she could have been a little more subtle and has racked up some serious Fantasy Dating points since!

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February 20, 2016

I am the same situation , I am waiting for my friend to called, he was my first boyfriend 23 years ago, a few days ago I found him on Facebook, he told me he never stopped loving me, but I have not told him I still love him, I just don’t want to get hurt, anyways I am waiting for him to contact me , we talked last night

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November 6, 2015

I am a Brittany. I did excatly what she did so I wont judge. *Faints*

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November 6, 2015

Hey Naledi! Thanks for commenting. And nobody’s judging! We’re just learning from each other. So, now you know better. And when you know better, you do better!

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November 18, 2015

So, I am wondering what I did wrong.

Went on first date, he followed up right away and we went on second date. I was going out if town to Mexico for 5 days, but at end of date he said the date was great and asked if I wanted to go out the following weekend. I said yes, he said he would text what night.

I did not hear from him and a week and a half later, I emailed him for an exit interview. I asked if he had any feedback on our dating experience. I was clear it was not for reconciliation, but for self awareness. I was shocked when he said he wanted something more mutual, had done the pursuing and had hoped to hear from me.

I was shocked by this, apologized and we went out again.

The date was great. Dinner out, making out and a good time. He asked me to text him I got home safe. I did. The next morning, in the spirit of mutual, I texted him simething playful and flirty saying the night was great and wishing him good luck on something. I did not suggest going out again. He responded enthusiastically about the night right away. But did not ask me out, I responded and said I would catch him later. He has now disappeared again. Wth?

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November 18, 2015

First, you didn’t do anything wrong. Getting caught up in the mindset that YOU did something wrong is dangerous territory. Maybe think of it as wondering Wwhat’s going on with him”? Second, because he said he wanted something “mutual” and responded positively the last time you asked him out, it could be that he wants you to invite him to do something. Or it he could have disappeared because he’s just not interested. If it turns out that he expects you to do all the asking out and date planning, you have to decide if that’s something you want to do. Perhaps reminding him that he said he wanted something “mutual,” meaning 50/50, and that you enjoy being asked out too, would be appropriate.

But as of now, he’s not making an effort. So ask yourself, “Do I want to be with someone who doesn’t want to make an effort to be with me?”

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November 18, 2015

Oh, when I apologized, I asked if it was a miscommunication, but was cool if it was not. He said he would love to see me again.

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November 18, 2015

Oh yeah, I had not played any games. I was very warm and responsive to anything he did to reach out to me. I was not overly available, but responded quickly and warmly and playfully. No reason to think I was not interested.